How to Write Personal Vows

Firstly, take the pressure off: your vows will never capture everything you feel for your partner - and that’s okay. They don’t need to. What they do need to do is give a glimpse into your love, your gratitude, and the promises you want to make for the future. That’s more than enough.

Vows are often the part of the ceremony couples worry about the most. The blank page staring back at you, the pressure to get them “right,” and the thought of reading them out loud in front of everyone can feel overwhelming.

When you book me as your celebrant, you’ll get access to my full Couples Vow Guide - a step-by-step resource to take you from blank page to beautiful, personal vows. But for anyone else reading this, here’s a little snapshot of the advice I give my couples.

Because the truth is: your vows don’t have to be perfect - they just have to be you!

🪄 Keep a Simple Structure

Think of your vows as a little story with three parts:

1. Past - A nod to your journey so far. (e.g., “From our very first coffee date, I knew…”)

2. Present - What you love about them today. (e.g., “You make me laugh daily, and you always believe in me.”)

3. Future - Your promises for the life ahead. (e.g., “I promise to stand beside you in all of life’s adventures.”)

This structure keeps your vows balanced - heartfelt without rambling.

✍️ Start With These Prompts

Sometimes the hardest part is knowing where to begin. Here are some easy prompts to get the ideas flowing:

“I love that you…”

“You make me feel…”

“I promise to always…”

“Since we met, my life has…”

“With you, I have learned…”

Even if you just answer these in dot points, you’ll already have the heart of your vows written.

💡 Keep It Short & Sweet

Your vows don’t need to be long. Around 1-2 minutes when spoken is perfect. Remember: short vows can be just as powerful as long ones. Sometimes a simple “I love you, and I promise to always choose you” says it all.

🎤 Practice Out Loud

Reading silently in your head isn’t the same as speaking them out loud. Practice a few times so the words feel comfortable in your mouth. Don’t worry about memorising them - I’ll have a printed copy ready for you on the day, so you can be fully present without stressing.

❤️ Make It Yours

You don’t have to be poetic. You don’t have to be funny. You don’t have to write like anyone else. The best vows sound like you.

If you’re funny together, be funny. If you’re sentimental, lean into that. The only rule? Speak from the heart (and don’t Google or Chat GTP your vows).

✨ Final Thoughts

Writing your vows doesn’t have to feel like an exam. It’s simply about putting into words the love and promises that already live inside you.

And remember: no one in that moment will be judging your phrasing or grammar. The people at your wedding know you, love you, and are just happy to be there.